Many months ago I wrote about forgiveness here. I am sure in the future I will write about it many more times.
I want to again extoll the virtues of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the seat of liberation. It allows us to be fully present in the moment, rather than stuck in the past.
Sometimes, forgiveness feels impossible. I have felt that way. Lots. About forgiving myself, about forgiving others. Have you? What do you do about not being quite ready to let go? Nothing is worse than this feeling of stuck-ness.
Forgiveness doesn’t only resolve our past, it alleviates our fears of the future. When we hold onto thoughts, memories, or traumas, let alone the emotions/feelings of anger, hurt, pain, we are unconsciously attempting to protect ourselves from having to experience that pain again. There is not short cut here. Forgiveness takes a willingness to be patient, and the ability to accept each stage. Healing happens slowly sometimes. Whether we are trying to forgive another, our find it for ourselves.
Try to stop forcing yourself to be there. And def don’t judge yourself for not being there yet. That just brings more negative, and fear based energy around the issue. Any phrase with “should” in it will NOT be helpful here.
Try this small step: forgive yourself now for not being able to forgive yet.
Believe that compassion is the gateway to forgiveness. Have compassion for yourself, and the process you are going through to find forgiveness. The fact that you are putting in this work in amazing in itself. Next, send compassion to the person you are trying to forgive. This is never about condoning poor behavior, but it is about seeing everyone as people who make mistakes, want to grow and better, and much more like us than we may want to admit. You can make space for healing whether or not the offender deserves it.